Does this prayer sound familiar? Come on… Tell the truth and shame the devil. I know I’m not the only one who has prayed this prayer. Especially when it comes to honoring God with our bodies through celibacy. Oooh… that word, “celibacy”. Yes, the struggle with “shutting it down”, “going cold-turkey”, or “retiring from the game”. This is what I would like to share as a word of encouragement. And through a discussion, we can learn from all of our experiences. So please feel free to comment.I have observed over time that most believers try not to act like this is a problem for them. Yet, the truth of the matter is that a good number of believers have struggled with this at one point or another. Some are struggling now. And I am here to tell you that abstention from sexual relations without crying out to the Lord is not easy to do on your own. As much as we desire to please God in every area of our lives this is certainly one area that requires the strength of the Lord. (Can I get an Amen?) I know… I hear you saying to yourself “It’s hard to just stop when you’ve started”, “the curiosity and sensibility are killing you”, “your significant other is pressuring you”, or “you justify it because you are convinced that they are the ones you want to spend the rest of your life with” …at least that is what they tell you in the moment.
The moment. What do you do in the moment? One would suggest not to put yourself in the moment and you won’t have to worry about what to do while in it. Nevertheless, most of us have lost the battle at the threshold and have taken the leap through the doors without realizing the temptation has seized us. Paul tells us this in 1 Corinthians 10:13 and he says that God provides a way out. The question is how many of us are looking for it before we enter in? It is at the door that many us must realize that we have power over the urge to walk in.
The power over the urge stems from the realization that the devil is trying to destroy us while using our own desires. James writes about it in 1:14. The ultimate goal of the adversary is to corrupt the original design for this and to launch an on-going assault on the body and the mind of the believer until the day we say “I do”. Instead of praying, “God, take this away… because I’m trying to live right for you”. We need to pray “God give me the power over this thing to control it instead of it controlling me”. And might I add… Please do not pray for God to take it way. Praying it away is not always good, because you’ll be running to your pastors asking him/her how to reverse the prayer now that you’re getting married.
Praying is the beginning. And praying for power over sin will see you though. Similar to the ad campaign for the “war on drugs” during the 80’s and 90’s, pray that you can just say NO! Pray that with the authority (In the Name of Jesus) you can say NO to the devil playing you like a play station, NO to your flesh, NO to the voices saying you can’t wait any longer, NO to your peers who pressure you because of their mistakes, NO to the consequences, NO to self-guilt, NO to disappointments, NO to sin, NO to grieving the Holy Spirit, NO to missing the fullness of a relationship with Christ, and NO to missing out on what God has for you. Just Say NO!
Lord, don’t stop it because I’ll need this urge when I’m married. But while honoring God and the marital bed (Heb 13:4)… Give me the power to say NO to it right now!
So what happens when both people aren't praying that same prayer? One person just can't seem to do without and will not hold out until marriage? How do you maintain in that situation?
ReplyDeleteGreat question! Thanks! What is the other person praying? Are they both saved? Do they both plan to marry? If one can't hold out and is forcing the other, it sounds like a possible offense/assault if one has communicated that they are no longer participating in this. Add them to the prayer so that God can work on them. Once it stops they both will find out what the relationship is built on... and if marriage is in the picture. I'd hate to find out that this is the only reason why the two are together... sex. Marriage is not just about a license for sex. One's life and convictions will help straighten up another's. But they have to want it for themselves. They should hold out, implement an alternative (not masturbation) - basket weaving or puzzles or something to get the mind off of sex, see each other in safe environments (no late night visits or private time), and honor God so that He will bless them and their marriage if in fact this is where they are headed.
ReplyDeleteThanks for checking out the blog and for asking this question! Many have struggled with this as it takes two to tango. The only thing that I want to add, as I have read John's response, is that "maintaining" this situation is not what they want to do. These two may never see eye to eye on this if one is not in agreement or at least respects the others wishes.
ReplyDeleteHere's another question to think about - "If the one you are with is bold enough to do whatever on God, what makes you think they will remain faithful to you?" Self-centeredness always takes precedence in the lives of those who do not have Christ in the proper place in their lives. And it will show. This is why praying and praying together on this is essential. If one does not want to pray on this, then the other needs to seek God to find out if this is the right person the need to be making life decisions with. If and when they get married and make it through this, they will have learned how to work together thru struggles and not to give in or lead the other in sin. And no one has the right to lead another into sin.
Also, they should try to create a support group with others who have the same struggles or who have overcome this, spend their extra time serving at church to keep them busy, and most of all meditate on His Word. Tell them to start with John 14:21, then Proverbs 29:1 and many others. Wilfull disobedience is dangerous. And 5 to 6 minutes is not worth grieving God, His Holy Spirit, and giving the devil a foothold in one's mind and body. And just think, although He struggled, what if Jesus gave in to His flesh at the Mount of Olives when faced with the greatest temptation of His life?
Say No & Yes to God!
-Joshua
So if we dishonor God via fornication or adultry, can we expect God to withold our blessing of a successful marriage? Similarly, how do you explain the fact that there are a multitude of Christian couples who appear to be successfully married, yet were sexually immoral while dating?
ReplyDeleteThis is great! Thanks! I was thinking about what John was saying as well...
ReplyDeleteNot that He won't bless the marriage, because we are already blessed according to Eph 1:3. Even if we acknowledge the sin and repent we are blessed. Yet you have to wonder if what we have allowed prior to marriage will it in fact manifest itself in the marriage simply because we opened the door for it prior to? (cause & effect). Or shall I say as Gal. 6:7 tells us "whatever a man reaps what he sows". If sex is my vice, sex will be my vice when I get married. Unless we are willing to give it to God. We must control it so it does not have control over us.
David says in Psalm 23 that "goodness and mercy shall follows me all the days of my life". The blessings chased him because David aligned himself with God. The question is if we do not confess our sins, is he still going to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness? And secondly, whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven... if we decided to do what we want when we want... God will not hold back. Moreover, He will allow whatever it is that we allow. This means that whatever was set in motion before marriage will ultimately at some point or another meet up with them on the side of marriage. This does not mean that the marriage cannot be successful, and it certainly doesn't mean that the marriage is without issues that you are not aware of. The issues just don't manifest in ways you see them.
Success is not what God looks for in marriage as we do. So what you see in other marriages may not be success... but Faithfulness. Some may not even know God, but they are faithful to His principles. Faithfulness is what pleases God. And not being faithful to God first will open the door to all kinds of problems in a marriage that can be masked with success.
Genesis 4:7 helps as well... "we must master it"... rather than it mastering us, because "sin is crouching at the door" whenever we walk through in route to fulfilling the flesh.
ReplyDelete-John B